May 9, 2021


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6 phrases of gasoline light that people say to manipulate you

Gas lighting, a manipulation tactic often exercised by emotional abusers, gradually, makes you question your own judgment, feelings, memories, and reality. Due to its insidious nature, it can be difficult for victims to recognize it as it is happening.

Abusers use gas lighting as a way to gain and maintain power and control of the relationship. They break your trust over time by making you think your interpretation of events is incorrect. The more you guess, the more you will begin to believe that their version must be accurate.

“People who can’t genuinely argue their point of view or stand behind their words turn to enlightenment as a tool,” says the therapist Shannon Thomas, author of Cure yourself from hidden abuses, he told HuffPost. “They resort to tactics to create confusion, and that’s a sign of the character’s weakness.”

The term comes from Patrick Hamilton’s play “Gaslight” (later adapted into two films in the 1940s), in which a husband tries to convince his wife that he is losing his mind to distract her from his criminal behavior.

“Once an abusive partner has broken the victim’s ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to endure the abusive behavior and stay in the relationship.”

– Beverly Engel, psychotherapist and author

Gas lighting is also a way for the abusive partner to avoid taking responsibility for their bad behavior, the psychotherapist said. Beverly Engel, author of The emotionally abusive relationship.

“For example, accusing you of flirting or being unfaithful can be a smokescreen because you’re doing these things,” he said. Your partner may say, “I can’t stand the way I flirt with other men whenever we go to a party,” when they really are the ones who are disloyal.

Therapists then reveal some of the common phrases used by gas lamps so that you can be more adept at recognizing this behavior.