Dear Abby: My son and daughter-in-law are getting divorced after almost 10 years. We love them both, and the divorce is amicable. They have a house, and my DIL is staying there.
My son is very easy going and doesn’t need the “better” things in life.
He has a truck. He made a small camper in the back, and there is a camper shell.
We have asked him to go back with us. He’s going to school with almost two years to go and also works a full-time job. He had a lot of savings, but he doesn’t want to buy a house right now. He thinks that since he is happy living in his truck, he should do so instead of wasting money on the apartment.
The rent in our area is very high so I understand, but we have a ready basement he can live in.
I worry about sleeping in his truck every night, so I text him every night with a quick note. Am I too much of a “helicopter mom”? I have a feeling he has been living on his own since he was 19. (Now he is 34 years old.)
Loving Parents in Utah
Dear Parents: You have extended the offer. I assume that when the weather turns cold or he needs a bath or laundry, you’ve let him know that he’s welcome to take advantage of your hospitality – and a nice dinner – whenever. He wants
There are “helicopter” moms and “hell-a-copter” moms. You are not either. You are a loving, caring mother.
Dear Abby: I was sexually assaulted by my cousin’s boyfriend a while back, and it was hard for me to process it.
When I told my cousin about it, he admitted that it was not okay, but he told it all to him. Although we are very close, I didn’t get the kind of support I was expecting.
In the end, she got back with him, and casually approached me trying to sweep things under the rug.
I’ve been sitting on a message for a few weeks now to let him know that I don’t want to be in touch with him for a while. It’s hard for me, because we are family.
Because no one knows the full story, everyone thinks I’m “cutting off” her from my life. What do I do, Abby?
Trapped and lost in New York
Dear Stuck and Lost: The person who attacked you is a predator, and your cousin appears to be unaware. Inform her that, under the circumstances, as long as her boyfriend is in the picture, you will keep her distance because you no longer feel safe around her.
And please, instead of keeping quiet about what her boyfriend did to you, tell your friends and family what happened. Contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network for support and guidance. (This is the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the US) The toll-free number to call is 1-800-656-HOPE, or if you prefer, chat online at Rainn.org.
Whether you have been raped or otherwise assaulted, file a police report so that if he does this to anyone else it will be on record, which he can do.
Dear Abby: I need advice on hot tub etiquette. If I invite a nudist woman to get wet in the hot tub with me, would it be rude for me to ask her to wear a mask?
Ray in New York
Dear Ray (of a sunny day on a cloudy day): Thank you for writing. If you are unaware of someone’s antibody status, do not invite a stranger to pose naked with you unless you are wearing a full body condom, no matter how tempted you are.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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