path happiness It’s not always easy, and there really isn’t a final destination. Joy is available on a spectrum. And thanks to work, life, and relationship issues – you know, not to mention an extremely distressing global pandemic – it might be easy to fall more often to the lower end of the spectrum.
Lack of satisfaction is one of the most common overarching themes people bring up. therapy. Fortunately, mental health professionals are full of wisdom and can offer guidance on how to get there.
While it’s best to seek specific advice from a therapist for yourself, it can be helpful to see how therapy is helping people with this particular issue. We asked people to share their best advice on happiness in therapy. See below for some mood-boosting inspiration.
You don’t always have to be nice
Amber Robinson, a 31-year-old licensed psychotherapist, can help others with their mental health for life, but she has learned a lot about happiness going into therapy.
“The best advice I’ve learned is that it’s okay if you’re not okay,” he said. “This was so powerful for me because I spent a lot of time resisting negative emotions and feeling like I needed to be happy. In reality, sadness and anger are perfectly normal and appropriate in certain situations.”
Robinson is now careful to notice whether he is sad or upset and to allow himself to feel those emotions. “This acceptance made me realize that things are going to be really good and it makes the negative emotion less strong overall,” she said.
Valerie Dauphin, life coach and writer, struggled to feel happy because of decision fatigue. But this valuable advice from her therapist made her feel much better about choosing a way to travel: “The most catchy piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was, ‘Whatever you decide, just align with it,'” she explained.
This helped the Dauphin take the stress out of making decisions by learning that he could be happy with any decision he made, as long as it fully followed his reasons, and that he could back down no matter the outcome.
“I always apply this advice, especially when I make more important decisions,” he said. “I have a healthy confidence and feel solid in navigating the elections.”
“The most memorable piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was, ‘Whatever you decide, just stay in line with it’.”
– Valerie Dauphin, life coach and author
Admit it, sometimes you’ll screw up
Ravi Davda, a 32-year-old marketing professional, found strength in the concept of self-acceptance.
“It was difficult because for me I was always questioning my actions. Am I doing this right? Should I do it another way? Is it okay to act or feel this way? Is it wrong?” he said.
His therapist explained that as humans we all try to do our best. And we have to accept that sometimes we will do wrong things and sometimes we will not do our best.
“It resonated with me because for a long time I thought I had to do things differently,” Davda said. “I thought I had to be a certain way, even if I didn’t want to be. I felt bad every time I fell or fell.”
This advice has given him confidence in himself and his decisions and that he is doing the best he can.
30-year-old digital marketing expert Kristin Runyan said she was under constant pressure growing up. “I wasn’t allowed to have flaws, and as a stereotypical Type A personality, I’m an incredibly perfectionist,” she said.
But there are so many things Runyan wants to do in her life that require her to do new things – and when you do something new, you will inevitably make mistakes.
“The fear of making mistakes kept me from pursuing my dreams,” she said. Only when his therapist encouraged him to fail occasionally did he get so much more inspired. “I follow[ed] My dream of starting a business with an environmental mission, [and] I had to admit that sometimes I can make mistakes, ”Runyan explained. “Embracing a different mindset allowed me to start adopting a growth mindset and find the joy of learning.”
Stop judging unimportant things
Amelia Alvin, a 44-year-old psychiatrist, used to struggle with being judgmental.
“I’ve spent half my life judging people on trivial matters and mundane ideas,” he said. Then his therapist said to him, “Lif he’s too short to hold grudges and hate people.”
This, said Alvin, is the best. happiness advice. “I was overflowing with pain until my therapist made me realize that negativity is not worth the wait,” she explained.
Ask yourself “why?” ask.
Claire Westbrook, the 31-year-old founder of the LSAT prep course, learned the importance of asking herself questions, especially when something bothers her.
“A lot of people run away from things just because they create negative feelings, but they don’t hesitate to ask themselves why,” he said. “By asking yourself why something is upsetting, upsetting, upsetting, or bothering you, you can better understand yourself and weaken its power over you.”
This helped her get to the root of a problem, work on it, and feel happier after the event.
It’s easy to say, “I’ll worry about myself later,” but when I finally learned to take my happiness seriously, I also learned to worry about myself now.”
– Jeanine Duval, co-founder of the online resource for tarot and astrology enthusiasts
Start your day with a good attitude towards others
Chantal Dempsey, a 46-year-old life coach, was so inspired by this advice she learned in therapy that she chose a career in imparting this wisdom to others: “Make sure you’re on the move and looking happy every morning in the first half—where you go to work, school, or college. time of day,” he said.
“After half an hour, it makes you feel better because you create a beautiful, vibrant energy around you and people treat you well,” he continued. “People smile at you, they are happy to see you, which changes your status and fills your pot of positivity and happiness.”
Take your own happiness seriously
This powerful statement greatly influenced Jeanine Duval, co-founder and editor of an online resource for tarot and astrology enthusiasts.
“It seems pretty obvious, but it’s all too easy to put your own happiness behind because of external stresses such as work, relationships, or life as a whole,” Duval said. It’s easy to say, “I’ll worry about myself later,” but when I finally learned to take my happiness seriously, I also learned to worry about myself now.”
She also learned that many people think they can have complete control over other people’s emotions, but she noted the importance of letting go. “You can only control your own emotions, meaning you can control the actions that trigger those emotions,” he added. “Don’t ignore what makes you happy, or you’re holding back.”
Self care is not selfish
Kimberly King, a 51-year-old parenting expert and author, has spent years as a mother of three, a Navy wife, and a kindergarten teacher. In this process, he lost himself.
“I was obsessed with taking care of everyone and everything, and that left me neither the time nor the energy to focus on myself,” she explained.
But then her therapist told her it was important to focus more on yourself.
“I guess I needed to hear it from a therapist because I couldn’t see how bad it was,” she said. “I turned therapy night into my night. No food, no homework for the kids, no cleaning. I went to therapy and then I was going to meet a girlfriend for dinner.”
This led him to prioritize others. personal care routines.
“I started going to yoga every day. The friends I made at my yoga studio are my soul sisters. I go out for walks and runs every day. I took a locked bathroom. “I started writing again and followed my quest to become a children’s writer.”
“The more confident you are about your existing or nonexistent happiness, the more you will eventually experience the happiness you dream of.”
– Heather Keita
speak for yourself
Mone Symone, a 26-year-old executive, went to therapy for years to overcome her childhood trauma. He said that the best advice he received during this process was “I am in control of my happiness and my life and I always use my voice no matter what”.
“Hearing that motivated me not to settle for less than I deserve. If I wanted better out of life, I had to make it happen.”
This also helped him in his music industry career. “People expect me to get a lot of BS or change myself to benefit them, but I always consider this advice to stand up for myself and always use my voice,” she said.
Make it up until you do
After two years of therapy, 36-year-old editor Heather Keita finally received advice that ended her cycle of unhappiness.
“The more you trust yourself about your existing or nonexistent happiness, the more you will eventually experience the happiness you dream of,” she said.
Now she’s saying to herself: “I’m happy today because I have this great food to eat and my car has just been washed and looks great” or “I’m happy today because I went to work, made some money and had fun. I’m off now.”
Doing this on a daily basis allowed Keita to focus on many reasons to be happy. “Even for all the time I spent being unhappy, they were always there,” she said. “Now, the only thing I’m really unhappy about is that it took years of therapy to realize that this amazing little trick exists.”