Now, that hasn’t surprised us “Bonnie Prince Bob”, who is this week’s favorite of the Scottish media and runs through the Edinburgh Central seat against Angus Robertson, is a deeply tired Bella Caledonia-type revolutionary installer directly from the most unbearable type of student dramatic society.
We were already aware of the fact because it has been morbid and creepy obsessed with wings (and in particular my sex life for some unfathomable reason) for years.
Bob (and from what we can tell, BPB is actually his legal name – we are told, perhaps maliciously, that Alec Macock was born and that we would have changed him too if we were him) is a self-proclaimed publicist for whom elections are just a chance to seek some attention and stop. He has raised over £ 8,000 for unspecified purposes in a campaign that is carried out almost entirely online at no cost.
But hey, everyone has to pay bills, so good luck with that. There was a gap in the market for a cross between a slightly less intelligent industry Neil Oliver and George Galloway’s unknown bombing that carries outdoor accessories indoors, and seems to have cornered him with a minimum of aplomb.
His other goals are, however, a little more suspicious.
Because Bob remains a man of the people, a proletarian class warrior with the intention of returning Edinburgh to the oppressed masses through sarcastic YouTube videos. He told Holyrood magazine, for example, that he intended to fight him “Flagellation and prostitution of every square meter of public space to dirty hotels and fetish moments”. Admirable things indeed.
However, for some reason, you are not on the Lothian list, where only about 6% of the votes is enough to become an MSP. Instead, he disputes a constituency seat where outgoing incumbent Ruth Davidson needed five times that quota to beat the SNP in 2016 in one of the biggest clashes of the night.
What he tells us is that he has Bob no interest by becoming an MSP, with all the boring hard work and dress it entails. Because while 6% is almost conceivable for an independent with a certain media profile and presentation ability, and could, at least in their wildest dreams, put him in Holyrood where he could try to change, absolutely no possibility winning the individual seat and running in it is purely an exercise in self-exaltation.
But that doesn’t mean I still couldn’t make a difference.
Last time, the shameless vanity candidate of the Scottish Greens, Alison Johnstone, almost certainly got enough votes that they would otherwise have gone to the SNP to give Ruth Davidson the victory with just 610. Back to defending the Greens this year, and while the Conservatives have proposed a relative relative to no one to try to defend Davidson’s seat, a combination of the Greens and Bob could very plausibly do enough damage to prevent Robertson from regaining a seat that the SNP he has only had it once.
(He hoped to resume it in 2007, when he reached his first election victory, but put the job in the hands of the unfortunate Shirley-Anne Somerville.)
The result would be that the intervention of the Great Revolutionary Champion of the People would have ensured an additional Tory in Parliament, a great help to the “Ethonian Spivs” Bob apparently goes into battle to fight, but it’s a perspective on which he’s intensely relaxed.
Now, full disclosure here, readers: we wouldn’t exactly rip off our pieces and shed floods of tears if Angus Robertson lost. The SNP made the seat to keep Joanna Cherry out of Holyrood and he is part of the party problem, not the solution. We are not hypocrites. But neither are we the ones who are on a supposed platform to save the Conservative working class while running the risk of leaving seriously in good faith Conservative MSP a.
In 2016, the SNP did not get any MSP list in Lothian despite losing its seat, so it is possible – and God, hopefully – horrible candidate on the main list Graham Campbell he would not enter even if Robertson were defeated, thus becoming a clear conservative net gain.
And who knows, with the votes ready for a bit of a knife that extra seat I could it is even enough to turn a pro-independence majority into a unionist one, all to briefly inflate Bob’s ego need.
But the most curious thing about all this is that despite this real danger, neither the Greens nor Bob are being bombarded with the kind of brutal and relentless abuse of SNP supporters that is the Alba Party, even though Alba does not fight. against no constituency seat (the Greens are fighting another 11, none of whom have any hope of winning) and tell their supporters to vote SNP on the first ballot.
The jealous fury of the SNP seems to be reserved exclusively for Alba, and we suspect it reveals quite a few things about whether the SNP is really in this election for independence or to preserve its own monopoly on pro-independence politics.